Some keys to success: 

GO SLOW. The tortoise beat the anxious hare. Don’t overdo it by taking on too much too fast. This is a transformational process- it can’t happen overnight. The great news is it takes much less time to reboot your nervous system than it did to create the anxious programming. 

Make sure you’re inside your window of tolerance when practicing acceptance. We don’t want to overwhelm your system. We want to send messages of safety. Just like in a new relationship, we establish trust and a felt sense of safety little bits at a time. Small, steady steps.  

When it feels too big, practice layering on acceptance. Instead of beating yourself up or trying to muscle through the really big feelings with a clenched jaw, allow yourself to feel the feelings of resistance. What did you notice? It’s ok, you’re learning a new way of doing things and no matter the thing, it takes practice and can be bumpy at times. 

With consistency and repetition, ease will become the new habit. How? Neurons that fire together, wire together and become a default circuit. Rewiring is just like learning to drive a car. Its awkward at first and takes a of awareness, focus- practice, practice, practice. But before long, you’re driving down the highway, talking to a friend, thinking about that report you need to get done while eating a donut. Who’s driving? It’s automatic now. 

This is the same process for exiting the anxiety cycle. 

Keep an eye out for avoidance in a trench coat. Are you using acceptance to make the feelings go away? That sends the message that the feelings are unsafe. A way to catch avoidance is to finish your sentences. This can help clarify the intention behind your actions. “I’m going to sit with this..” So that what? It’s welcomed with curiosity as a part of my experience or am I doing this so that it goes away? “I’m trying really hard..” To what? “I’m feeling anxious, I’m going to use a grounding technique..” In order to? 

It can be tricky at times, to say the least. Remember that we want to move toward something as opposed to away from. So if the intention of using a grounding technique is to ground yourself while exploring sensations to increase awareness, great. If the intention is to use a practice to get rid of sensations, we’re innocently reinforcing the cycle. 

Finally, remember that resistance is tension. Let your muscles go loose little bits at a time. You’ll learn that you’re safe in those moments. Holding yourself tightly together is exhausting. What am I unwilling to feel? Greet it and soften with gentle awareness. Whisper yes. You’ve got this!